invisible wednesday

So there are nights where I beg strangers to be a friend to me
When I'm not quite sure I really exist
where I beg and plead
for a moment of your spare time

It used to be
I refused to let you pass me by
I'd shove myself into your consciousness
force you to be aware.

Not quite up to being that asshole anymore
I've lost my purple hair
most of my piercings
and some of my attitude

I don't know when I agreed to disappear though

I haven't changed the world
haven't even managed to squeeze out a couple of kids
I don't actually want them
but

I'm rude
and loud
and not as fickle a drunk as you'd wish I'd be

I'm just a tick tock girl
with a clockwork heart
and I don't want to be so lonely anymore

but he's too tired to fuck
and I'm watching TV
and drinking alone.

making plans with people who don't really want to see me.

Children of Summer

I still believe in grass roots action
I still believe in the butterfly effect

I still believe a single person can make a difference
and that their world is worth living in

I know they've earned bad names
that one man really can't save it all

but I want each one to remember that
we're not so different after all

each one just wants to be safe
to go home
good dinner on the plate

no one wants to die alone
even if they don't want children
don't expect lives theirs to own

grad school waits
and the bills build up

there's only so many years left to save the world
against the grain
I claim I could make a difference
I remember
when it was the one thing I couldn't do

and I'm not living in a trailer
haven't had my life stolen in ages

I found you
on the internet
and I wondered where the time went
when we were sisters
when we were witches
when we could still make things happen

the time when magic reigned
the first time I realized other people could afford to eat in sit down restaurants.

the first thing I stole was an accident
I was always afraid of disappointing you
and I was nothing more than an inconvenience.