Inertia.

In the last 10 years I've done nothing. Still living in my Grandmothers house, still working the same job (now with more hours), still fucking the same guy....I've finally realized how easy it is to let life, your only life, simply pass by. To live your life as a spectator and just simply let it happen to you instead of acting. I never intended this.
I was always the girl with the plan, the one who was going to make things happen and change the fucking world.
This obviously hasn't happened.

My question is why?
     Where did my fight go?
Did I choose to give up and just not realize it?
NO.
What happened was life
Life let me down.
the economy let me down.
My sense of duty let me down.
I allowed myself to be made into less because it was simpler than being more.
Because the things I thought were worth fighting for were not discerned as holding value.
The things I wanted were ephemeral and huge; all the while forgetting all the little shitty things that we modern humans are expected to be concerned about.
The bills and the romances and the family ties I refuse to cut.
They turned the wonder into the mundane and I hate them for it.

I'm dangerously close to thirty and I won't risk turning fifty without having something to show for it.